


Strange Feeling

by heeroluva



Category: Primeval
Genre: Angst, Canonical Character Death, Community: primevalathon, Father-Son Relationship, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Past Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-05-19
Updated: 2011-05-19
Packaged: 2017-10-19 14:35:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/201919
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heeroluva/pseuds/heeroluva
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Connor decides it's time for an intervention.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strange Feeling

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jooles34](https://archiveofourown.org/gifts?recipient=jooles34).



> Spoilers: 1.4, 2.7

Connor had never known his father. He’d been long gone before Connor had been born anyway, so it didn’t really matter. He didn’t even know if the name on his birth certificate was the man who had really been his father. From what he remembered of his mother before he was shoved into the foster system, she wasn’t particularly picky with the men she chose to sleep with as long as they had enough money to support her drug addiction.

In the foster system, Connor had quickly come to realize that he wasn’t like the other kids, that he didn’t fit into the idea of family that any of his foster ‘parents’ had. They didn’t know how to deal with a kid that was too smart for his age, a kid that talked too much, and had no understanding of self-censoring. The first family that he had been in the care of had really tried, but they just hadn’t been able to deal with him, and he hadn’t been willing to open up to them. So it really wasn’t a surprise when two months in he was sent back to the children’s home.

That had been the pattern of things until he reached maturity and began university. That was where he’d met Nick, wide-eyed and enthusiastic, ready to dive right in. And Nick had let him. Without even realizing it had happened, Cutter had stepped into that spot that Connor hadn’t realized was empty. In an astonishingly short amount of time, Nick had become one of the most important people in Connor’s life. For all the reputation of being the stereotypical, absent-minded professor, Nick was always there for him, when Connor needed him most. He’d known what to say when Tom died.

Nick had been the rock that all of them counted on, and they’d taken it for granted. He’d never questioned who it was that Cutter had turned to for support, not until now, weeks after Stephen’s death, where Connor was convinced the older man wasn’t sleeping and was drinking way too much. He had a plan, knew what he had to do.

Connor didn’t bother knocking on Nick’s door, knowing he wasn’t home yet, instead using the key everyone knew was hidden in the planter. He shouldn’t have been surprised by the sight that greeted him, but he was. Nick had never been a tidy person, but this mess was extreme even for him. The place looked as if it hadn’t been picked up in a month, and maybe it hadn’t been if the piles of take out containers, the multitude of empty bottles, and the overflowing dishes overflowing the sink in the kitchen were anything to go by. If the sight hadn’t been a confirmation, the smell sure was.

Pulling a face, Connor got to work, knowing that it wasn’t going to get done itself. Sometime later as he was drying the last of the dishes, the door slammed shut, causing Connor to jump and juggle the plate before he carefully set it aside. He hadn’t heard the car pull up or the door open. Turning, he found himself face to face with a frowning Cutter.

“What are you doing here?” Nick demanded, looking around the place as though he didn’t recognize it.

“Thought you could use a hand,” Connor replied, happy that his voice didn’t waiver.

Nick shrugged off his coat, throwing it to the side, heedless of where it landed before turning towards the liquor cabinet. Opening it, he turned back around suddenly as he found it empty, and growled, “You had no right! I didn’t ask you to come here and—”

“You’re not the only one hurting, Nick! We lost a friend too.” The words came out before Connor could think about them.

Nick turned back towards the cabinet and muttered something that Connor couldn’t quite catch. “What?”

“Stephen wasn’t just a friend,” Nick repeated in a tight voice.

“What?” Connor asked, not discerning the meaning at first. Then it hit him, and his eyes went wide in the shock of it. It explained so much. “Why didn’t you tell any of us? Did you not trust us?”

“No,” Nick growled harshly, back stick to Connor. “I wanted to, didn’t want to hide. But Stephen had some bad experiences in the past. It was his choice, and I respected it.” The glass he’d been holding suddenly shattered under the pressure.

“Shit,” Connor cursed and rushed forward as Nick made no move to do anything but stand there and stare at his now bleeding hand. Grabbing Nick’s wrist he pulled him toward the bathroom, and got his hand under water. With some of the blood washed away, it wasn’t as bad as he’d feared. Finding the tweezers he carefully pulled the shards out. Fresh blood rose sluggishly, but he didn’t think any of it needed stitches.

“He wouldn’t want you to do this, to be acting like this, wasting away and killing yourself like this,” Connor pointed out as he dressed the wound.

“You have no idea what he would have wanted.”

“You know. Fine. You’re right. I don’t. But I can make an educated guess. He wasn’t the only one that cared about you.”

Nick suddenly went pale, and Connor almost laughed at the absurdity of it. Almost.

“Not like that. I’m happy with my heterosexuality. But seriously if the roles were reversed would you want him to be doing this to himself, living like this? Though living might be a bit of a strong word here. I know I wouldn’t want anyone to do this to themselves if I died.”

Nick’s face suddenly crumpled, and Connor wasn’t prepared for the sudden armful that he received as Nick buried himself in his arms, shoulder’s shaking. Some time passed before Nick calmed down and pulled away, looking vaguely embarrassed. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this, none of it was.”

“No,” Connor agreed. “It’s not like we can go back in time and—” Connor cut off abruptly, realizing what he was saying and stared wide-eyed at the contemplative look that crossed Nick’s face

“Nick, no! Think of Jenny. You don’t know what changing things could do to the timelines.”

Sighing, Nick nodded. “I know I can’t. If I did, I’d be no better than Helen.”

“No—”

“Yes, the reasons are different, love verses greed. Maybe mine’s more noble, but the outcome would be the same: chaos. I won’t stoop to her level.”

Conner offered him a sad smile. “I know you won’t. Just we’ve been worried, Abby and me, even Lester in his own way.”

Nick snorted at that.

“I know it’s not the same, but you’ve always been there for us, taking care of us, and we never said thank you. I know you’d never ask, but I just wanted to help. It’s not much, but…” Connor trailed off, hating the whiney waver in his voice, chiding himself because none of this had gone as planned and they’d long since ventured into uncomfortable territory, and he knew that if he was uncomfortable that Nick must be practically dying in it.

“No, Connor, it’s fine. I know I haven’t been at my best, and I do thank you. I’m just not ready to…” Nick trailed off.

“I’m not asking you to forget him, just remember that you’re still alive. Want to grab some dinner? I know a new curry place that opened up, that’s supposed to be great.”

Nick nodded hesitantly. “I could use something to eat.”

“Come on then. I’ll drive.”

Nick nodded again and followed silently as they walked towards the door, pausing to grab his coat from where it lay on the ground.

Connor kept up the chatter on lighter things, things that didn’t need comments too, just talked of anything and everything. Dinner was a start a least. Not a big thing really in most regards, but after the past weeks it was almost monumental. Nick had scared him, and the fact that someone could make him feel that way, scared Connor even more, but it hadn’t been enough to deter him from confronting Nick. He hadn’t know his parents, but he wondered if this was maybe what a child felt towards one, this desire to please them, but also to see them happy. It was a strange feeling.


End file.
